14296756774_3318712654_zAre you spoiled? Do you think everything has to go your way? When you operate with a growth mindset you believe revelation of your flaws,  trouble and struggle is just important feedback in the life-learning process.

However, when you operate from a fixed mindset, you complain about the things that don’t go your way, hide your flaws so people won’t judge you, and label your self a failure.  Stop being spoiled. Things are not always going to be easy. Learn that success comes from hardwork and that trouble and failure is just apart of what needs to happen in order for you to grow. In a growth mindset, your mistakes and flaws are simply a check list or TO-DO list of things to improve.

In a fixed mindset, you always stay in your lane. You’ve got to stick with what you know in order to keep up your confidence. In a growth mindset, you tend to keep up your selfworth-confidence by always striving and pushing into the unfamiliar. You move into the uncomfortable to make sure you’re growing and always life-learning.

When operating under a fixed mindset, you tend to pray and look inside yourself to find something called “your true passion and purpose”, as if this is a static, concrete and hidden inherent thing.

In a growth mindset, you create yourself, imagine yourself, and you commit to mastering valuable skills regardless of your feelings and mood. You simply believe that your passion and purpose come from creating your self, practicing great work, which comes from constantly doing, expertise and having life-experiences.

When operating with a fixed mindset, failures define you. They stop you. They become a part of you. In a growth mindset, failures are simply temporary setbacks. Just part of the normal course of life.

Your relationships are also embedded in your mindset. If you have a fixed mindset, you believe that right from the get-go you need to be romantically compatible with someone, and that the two of you should share the same life-value-views, and everything should just come naturally.

However in a growth mindset, you believe a super-strong lasting and caring relationship comes from lots of effort and hard work, and working through inevitable differences, as well as dealing with flaws of the other person, as well as working on romance.

In a fixed mindset, it’s all about the end result and outcome. If you fail, you think you have wasted your time and all effort was just a frustrating waste of effort and energy. In a growth mindset, it’s all about the life-journey and the growth-process, so the outcome is not as important as the golden experiences and priceless lessons learned. The failure is irrelevant. It hardly matters because it’s not about the outcome, but about all the powerful things that you’ve experienced in your life-journey. Failure just sets you up for being better the next time around.

By the way the mindset itself is not even fixed. You can be open to change your mindset anytime just by thinking another philosophy.

I’ll Make You Love Me

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MLK Celebration – Music, Poetry, History, and Wine


Enjoy an evening of History, Music and Poetry celebrating the legacy of Dr Martin Luther King Jr. Friday, January 16, 2015
7pm at Doyle’s Vineyard, 8913 N.C. Hwy 751, Durham, NC 27713

10 Tips to having Joy

Soul Singer Angela Shella

There is so much going on in our lives. Most of us want to live a life of joy. I have some tips that can help us do that.

  1. Declutter your space. A decluttered space has an emotional and psychological effect on your well being.

  2. Grab an attitude of gratitude. Wake up every morning to affirmations of all the things you are thankful for this holiday season. Say them out loud or write them down.

  3. Give to others. When you focus on helping others and giving to those in need, you realize your worth.

  4. Go out more to events with positive themes. Surround yourself with positive and inspirational people. Go to events and social gatherings with people who are positive, strong, confident, happy, prosperous, and grateful.

  5. Avoid gossip, trash talking people, and complaining, as well as other negative toxic behaviors. Limit your time with toxic people or those who gossip or those who are bitter and always angry.

  6. Have faith. A joyful life requires some private time to meditate, or pray, or practice faith. Having hope for the future and believing in God creates a strong sense of joy.

  7. Dance and Sing to happy music. When you turn on happy music and dance to it, it lifts your emotions and can be an immediate mood booster. Avoid sad songs. Listen to Angela Shella’s Dance Song

  8. Create your own empowering story and live it. What is your story? When someone asks you this, you should tell the story that empowers and gives you joy. If you don’t like your current story then simply change it. That’s right. Write or Create a different story, then walk in it. Start living it. Then decide that you will not tell that old story ever again.

  9. Work your vision board (create one if you don’t have one).

  10. Practice forgiveness. This includes forgiving yourself as well as others for wrong doings. When you hold on to bitterness you hurt yourself and prevent the flow of new and fresh ideas. It also prevents the flow of new positive people into your life as your demeanor and behavior becomes negative and unattractive when your harbor bitterness and unforgiveness.
    Soul Music, Angie Coltrane

An important tip on reaching your goals

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A tip on reaching your goals: Are you thankful for what you have right now? Are you? Do you love yourself? Being Grateful for who you are and what you have right now will put you in a state of contentment. It will pave the way for more success. Stop complaining and start doing. Look over your circumstance and write a list of all things for which you are grateful, then cherish them. Work on your goals only to know that you are, right here and now, blessed. Then you can truly, move forward. How do you expect more blessings to come your way, if you are not thankful for all the blessings you already have.
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Get the vision and the verbal @angieandthecool

The words we say can determine, not only our emotional state but also how we are treated by others and who we attract into our lives. “Oh, I’m Okay, I guess.” Sounds weak and almost sad. People especially successful people, are not particularly interested in hanging out with weak and sad people. It’s draining. If you are constantly complaining and displaying that you are not grateful for who you are and what you have right now, you are emotional poison to others. Nothing drains you faster than gossip, jealousy, complaining, and being down and out. Positive people want to network with strong and happy people who have high self-worth and preferably high net worth. They want inspiration. They want encouragement. They want to live in abundance. If you change your negative talk to something dramatically positive and desirable, you open the door to better relationships and greater joy. When you say, “I’m feeling on top of the world,”, you are more likely to attract positive people into your life. You also FEEL better. Saying this immediately triggers your brain to propel you into an emotional state of strength. This, in turn, attracts others to you that are strong. Success breeds success. People want to be uplifted. If God is your strength, then speak as though you are strong. Get your words into success mode and your vision will more easily manifest. If you have a vision, you need to also have “the verbal.” Start living the life you envision by speaking the language of success, inspiration and prosperity. You will soon see that the feeling of joy will follow when you speak it into existence.
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it”

-Maya Angelou.

Live in Your Greatness. Know Your Self-Worth @angieandthecool

If you don’t know your self-worth, you are not able to communicate to others what you deserve. You may indeed not know what you deserve. However, once you discover your worth, you then know and understand what you deserve. Some people may not be accustom to your new found confidence. They may resist it and hate you for it. You may have to leave them behind and find new people that understand your greatness. You will then attract other great people to you. You will find others that believe in you and support you. You will find others that you can help also. Be ok with letting go of the toxic relationships. Letting go will open the door for all that is new and all those that understand your worth. Abundance is waiting for you.
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